tired and emotional

I have this habit of staying up too late and listening to music.  I like to plug my head phones into whatever device I'm listening to music too and turning it up way to loud.  I have two different types of headphones... one is for work, so that no one else can hear it.  The other is my big head phones that are great for listening to anything.

Actually, my big headphones remind me of being a kid.  My mother had this amazing record collection and she never wanted us (kids) to touch it.  I used to wait for everyone to go to sleep and I would go down stairs, put on a record, plug in the head phones and fall asleep to whatever album I picked.  I listened mostly to the beatles, but I got a lot of weird shit in too.  Like, Chad and Jeremy and alice cooper.... So fucking good....  It's funny cause it's been a very awesome habit to find new music for me.  It has been one of the only reasons to not off myself.  I know that sounds morbid, but you have to have something that keeps you going.

As a kid... I would hold the huge headphones as close as I could to my ears.  I would just get lost in the melody... chorus... bridge... every song has it's gems.  Well, at least my favorite songs do... I would hold the headphones as close to my ears as possible.  I still do that.... I'm gonna be deaf soon.  I would hold them so hard that my hands would cramp.  I would always wake up to a skipping record...

When I woke up I would have to put the record away (very carefully) and I would have to run upstairs to my bedroom so mom or dad or whoever would not see me with the records.  I think Dad caught me once, but never said anything.  Actually, I know he did, and told me to never touch my mother's records again.  What is funny, is that I have most of her records now.  And I love them... They are my friends and have been since I can remember.  But now, I have my own records.  And I will tell my children the same thing... And I hope to god that they do the same thing I did.  Break the rules, and relish the fact that they have a great memory.